It hurts when you've had more partners than your age

I've been with him for almost a year now, we've been friends for just a few months longer. I came from my mom's in St. Louis, I had lived there for four years. I've had alot of sex and i would be considered a "whore." I drank, I smoke, I got into a lot of fights. So I went to a rehab in St. Charles, Mo. And there I decided to move in with my dad. When I meet my boyfriend, i didn't want to go out with him. But I've been sober now longer than I ever have been. Yes, I have relapsed, but last time I did was the last time. I was drunk and got so mad and I tore up my friend's apt, they couldn't control me. It wasn't a good situation. But now I have only one problem with him. We've have sex, and wasn't not alot, maybe once a week. But I really know that my life wouldn't be as good as it is now without him. We talk so much, I can see my self with him. I won't break up with him, and we've been on a break from sex now for quite sometime, and that's when I got into porn. I dont want to talk to him about, afraid he'll think it's cool. It's not his fault but sometimes I just think if we we're having sex I wouldn't be watching these girls. I know how they feel. They like to be controled and humiliated, but they really hurt inside. It hurts when you've had more partners than you're age. So what should I do? What's worse choosing porn, or sex? Help me.